The IVF two week wait feels unbearable
The two week wait is always hard, but when you are going through IVF it can feel unbearable
You have invested so much to get here
You have been through so much to get to this point, and now with an embryo on board, you have a real possibility of being pregnant.
After so much struggle and effort and sacrifice, there is real, genuine possibility that this could be it.
So it’s not just waiting. It’s what it means to you and all the questions that arise as a result…
“What if it’s worked?”
“What if it hasn’t?”
“How am I meant to get through this?”
When did two weeks ever mean quite so much.
It’s so hard living through it.
It takes over. It’s there when you wake up. It’s there in the background of everything. It’s hard to concentrate on anything properly.
It consumes you.
Everything feels like a sign
You probably find yourself reading into everything. You are hyper-aware of your body.
Every sensation.
Every twinge.
Or noticing nothing at all and feeling that’s a sign too - that it hasn’t worked.
It is so hard to just wait and see.
So you are constantly scanning your body, assessing everything, asking yourself:
“Is that something?”
“Does that mean it’s worked?”
“Or does it mean it hasn’t?”
You might find yourself googling too.
Looking things up late at night. Going on forums to read about signs. Reading into small details. Trying to find something that tells you either way.
But there isn’t anything definite.
Still, that doesn’t stop you looking. And hoping.
It feels intolerable to just sit and wait and do nothing.
The dilemma of when to test
You might make an agreement with yourself about when you’ll test. What day. Telling yourself you’ll wait until then. Trying to stick to it.
But it’s hard to wait.
And it’s hard not to.
Because part of you wants to know.
And part of you doesn’t.
In case it’s negative.
So you go back and forth.
Thinking about doing it.
Then telling yourself not to.
Then thinking about it again.
That pull to know is there the whole time.
Time slows down
Never have you known two weeks to pass so slowly.
The days feel longer.
Slower.
Like time isn’t moving properly.
Like everything has paused.
You’re waiting for something that hasn’t happened yet.
And everything feels tied to it.
It can feel like you’re just getting through the days.
Not really in them.
Like you’re holding your breath the whole time.
Waiting for the moment you’ll know.
Not wanting to let yourself hope too hard
You might try not to let yourself hope too much. Just in case.
Trying to keep it contained.
Not get too invested, because if it doesn’t work out you know you will be devastated.
But that’s hard to do.
Because the result means everything.
You are scared of the outcome
You want this so much and that means there is a lot at stake.
You are desperate for a positive test. But you may also be terrified of what happens if the test is negative.
What if this cycle hasn’t worked?
What if you have to start all over again?
What if you don’t know how many times you can keep doing this?
The possibility of pregnancy feels exciting, but the possibility of yet another disappointment can feel daunting and overwhelming.
And during the two week wait you are often holding both of those things at the same time.
It is a lot to carry.
I’m Saff Mitten
I am a therapist who supports women with all aspects of the IVF and infertility journey.
I am passionate about this work because I have been through IVF and fertility issues myself, and I know how difficult it can be.
If you would like support, or just want to know more, please contact me. I offer a free no-pressure introductory chat.
My Professional Qualifications
MA, Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy
Pg. Dip, Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy
Dip, Integrative Counselling
And more than a decade of experience working as a counsellor and psychotherapist
Professional Memberships
Registered Member, BACP and I abide by their code of ethics
Member, BICA
Miscarriage Association -
I am an approved therapist on their Counsellors Directory
Having somewhere to bring it
It night help to have somewhere you can share what’s going on. With someone who truly gets it - because they have lived through IVF themselves, and because as a therapist, they support women going through it everyday.
It can be a place to share all the thoughts that are going around incessantly in your head and feel like they are driving you crazy. Somewhere safe and confidential to talk about it.
What it could mean for you if this works and you are pregnant.
What it would mean if it doesn’t…
And it is somewhere for you to be able to let out all of the emotions associated with this that you may have been holding inside.
The nervousness.
The anxiety.
The sense of possibility and excitement.
The impatience to know the outcome.
But the fear of knowing too.
Therapy is a place you can feel understood and supported.
Sharing all of this with someone who gets it may feel like a relief and provide a sense of support while you wait for the outcome. And whatever the result may be, I can help you navigate the next steps. Either supporting you in the early stages of your pregnancy. Or if it doesn’t work, helping you to come to terms with the disappointment and loss, as well as thinking about the the next steps on your IVF journey.
You don’t have to deal with this on your own.
Getting Support
I am a counsellor and psychotherapist who specialises in supporting women with all aspects of IVF and infertility.
Alongside my professional experience, IVF and infertility is something I’ve experienced personally. I had a long IVF and infertility journey myself. So I know how much time, effort and commitment it takes to get to the the point of having an embryo onboard - and therefore how difficult and momentous the two week wait can feel.
I offer online therapy sessions across the UK. If you feel you could benefit from support during the two week wait - or with the IVF journey in general, please contact me. I would like to help if I can.